Communicating Effectively – Listening Cheat Sheet

 Pay Attention to Your Body
       Stay present to the person and breathe.
       Focus on the person with your whole body.
       Notice your feelings but do your best to remain focused on the other person.
       Keep a positive intention. Be kind. If your goal is to get even are get the other person to admit you are right, you are sabotaging your communication efforts.
       Try to match the person you are listening with your body and your energy.
Paraphrase
       In your own words repeat back what you are hearing.
       “So what I hear you saying is….”
       “Hold on, let me just make sure I am getting this right….”
       What else?
       Is there something more you need to tell me?
       Is there anything else I need to know?
       Ok, and…?
       Yeah, and…?
Use Nonjudgmental Language
       I notice you are talking fast and your voice is squeeky.  Does this mean you are feeling excited?
       I notice you are very quiet and your mouth is starting to quiver. What are you feeling right now?
       You can’t stay still in your chair and your eyes are all over the place.  What’s going on for you right now?
Notice
       I notice you are talking fast and your voice is squeeky.  Does this mean you are feeling excited?
       I notice you are very quiet and your mouth is starting to quiver. What are you feeling right now?
       You can’t stay still in your chair and your eyes are all over the place.  What’s going on for you right now?
Home Strategies
       Do not have difficult conversations in the heat of a big feeling. Make sure everyone is well resourced.
       Manage your own stress.  When you take care of yourself, you are taking care of your whole family.
       Eat meals together with no electronic devices including the TV.
       Have 30-minute family time where all electronic devices are shut off and everyone is gathered in the same location.
       Initiate 20-minute family walks.
       Work together on a project – puzzles, Lego buildings, art projects, baking, ect.
Blog Posts You Might Like:
If you hurt my feelings you must be punished: https://www.creativeedgeconsulting.com/2017/05/if-you-hurt-my-feelings-you-must-be.html
What’s it like to be you? https://www.creativeedgeconsulting.com/2017/04/whats-it-like-to-be-you.html
Can’t we all just get along? https://www.creativeedgeconsulting.com/2017/04/cant-we-all-just-get-along.html