Your Brain on Repetition

When I was a teenager, I used to bake cookies all the time.  Hard to believe now, as I am continually teased about my poor baking skills, but back then, baking was something I did that comforted me.    There was the occasional mishap like the time I forgot to put in the baking soda […]

Fear is Easy

Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do.  Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. Steven Pressfield   I believed, for most of my adult life, that […]

Quick Fire Neural Pathways – Helping Our Brains Wire for Compassion

A fourteen-year-old girl, “Wendy” has been shunned by her social circle for having slandered another high profile fifteen-year-old girl. “Samantha”.  Samantha has rallied all of her friends and has now started a social media campaign that essentially humiliates Wendy.  She has posted false information about Wendy and numerous other girls have picked up the slander. […]

Your Children Will Embarass You

Easy choices. Hard life.  Hard choices. Easy life. Jerzy Gregorek Children have a knack at highlighting your weaknesses. They will do things, both in public and in private, that will make you question your choice at having them in the first place.  They will press your buttons, find your vulnerabilities and use them at your weakest […]

Working Through What is Broken

Whenever I presented a workshop on Anger or Conflict, I would always begin by reminding the participants that I am teaching this stuff to myself. It was always important for me to acknowledge that I am working through the material and finding myself challenged to do the very practices I worked to show others. Conflict, […]

If You Hurt My Feelings You Must Be Punished

If the price for disrespect, discomfort or failure is public shaming, we eliminate the very environments that build resilience, community and confidence.  Good schools don’t eliminate disrespect, discomfort or failure.  Good schools create environments that make it safe enough to tackle and practice and rehearse what to do when you are feeling disrespected, or what to […]

What Makes You a Gaming Addict?

We are on our devices too much.  We rely on all of these distractions and pings of dopamine to get us through the day.  And everytime we do that, we are loosing an opportunity to learn how to manage our big feelings, take care of our bodies, and practice relationship building. It is too much, […]

What’s It Like to Be You?

Beliefs are not an intellectual construct, they are an emotional one. Our feelings are always connected to our body – they are embedded not just in our brain or in our cognitive memories, they are embedded in the cells of our body, in our gut, and in our joints. The question, “What’s it like to […]

When Does Care Become Harm?

The mother in front of me works two jobs.  She is the sole caregiver for her two young boys.  Both of her jobs provide a substantial income.  She works very hard. Both of her boys are struggling with some of their social emotional skills, but they are excelling in their academics. Mom has both boys […]